The One

在这个学习逻辑的早上，我感到自己可能不会皈依某个宗教，但不意味着完全的不相信或者轻视它们的存在。我感到我可以从了解宗教及其教义的过程中中获取一些养分。
当我喝完咖啡，带着书离开咖啡馆时，我的房东+邻居John 和Lynee坐在树下。我们互相问好，带着灿烂的微笑。然后我走回不到100米外的家。

当我在院子里思考如何培植某些多肉时，他们也从咖啡馆回来。我们打招呼，然后我忍不住问出了这几天在想的一个问题——你们是否考虑过卖掉（我租的）这栋房子？John说——没有。他们开始赞美临街的那一排花圃很漂亮，植物看起来都很健康。那些lavender、rosemarry、Japanese bamboo、新种下的两株月季，粉色和红色的。还关心我是否找到本地工作。我如实表达了自己的想法，自己随时都可以工作，只是还不用着急，得先考到驾照，让英语表达更流利一些才能适配本地工作。然后她们笑着说可是你的英语已经足够流利了，你一直在进步。

John先离开，我叫住Lynne问出了一小时前自己思考的问题。我问他们是不是基督教徒，她说是的。我说，我感到自己和基督教之间的缘分未到，因为我被一个问题卡住——我不能接受神是一个万能的人，尤其是个男人。我唯一能接受和相信的是神是爱，因为我在任何时间任何地方都能感受到这种爱的存在。Lynee表示惊讶，然后是深深的赞同——我和你感受完全一致！我也更喜欢“神是爱”的说法。然后她们离开了。

过了不到十秒，他们返回来，告诉我他们在附近公园里还有一栋房子也许会考虑出售，那一栋更大，有四个卧室，和我们现在住的房子建于同一个年代——1960年代……我说，可是我现在还没有购房资格，因为没有拿到绿卡。他问那还要多久，我说也许一两年吧。“如果你们真的考虑卖掉某套房子一定要让我知道，我喜欢这个社区。”

在一个自由的市场里，如果要基于不断的衡量、比较、筛选去获得一个性价比最高的最好的选择是很消耗人的一件事，不如就选一个缘分赠予给你的，和ta建立更深的连接。这样更简单，也更可靠。我打算在这个社区定居下去，不需要一个更新更大的房子了。

说起来，这是我们登陆NZ以后看的第一套房子。在去年的十一二月份，我在互联网上看了许多华人在新西兰租房的分享，大部分国人的感受是——这里很难租到房子，有时候落地一个月都还是只能住旅馆。你面临各种各样的竞争者，能看中的房子不一定能租到，白人房东不倾向于租给中国人，因为中国人的烹饪方式不利于厨房清洁。我那时候感到一种压力，很担心到这里要面临的生活问题。

就在落地的第三天，我们买好了车子前往这个小城。我开始预约出国前在网上看好的house的看房申请，大概十来套。一一发邮件，和中介约定看房时间。一个多小时搞定了六个预约以后，我收到一封邮件回复——I guess we could do it at 4 pm today.收到邮件的时间时三点半，我们立即前往。在路上我忍不住想象一个可能——万一第一套就租到了，怎么办？还要取消前面的预约，好麻烦哦。又想，这种狗屎运可轮不到我。

当我到达房子门口时，我意识到回复邮件的不是中介，而是房东本人——一对标准的白人夫妻，看上去大概五六十岁。他打开门，我们简单地看了一下，两个卧室一个书房，客厅不大但还好，壁炉已经废弃改成了一个林内的暖炉。地毯是陈旧的，厨卫区域的木地板满是斑驳，很陈旧。卫生间甚至没有浴缸，马桶也是上一个世纪的款式，自然也不能通电。厨房甚至没有抽油烟机，洗碗机——据房东介绍，是前两天装上的，看起来是一台二手的。我一边看一边打退堂鼓。房子太旧了，设施太陈旧了，旧到看起来不够干净——我非常在意的点。可是丈夫想也没想就表达了——我们想租下来，可以吗？我一边责怪他怎么如此草率，明明还预约了好几套院子更大房屋更新的，要不要等多看几套再决定。但他还是做了决定。好，我也只好尊重。

房东二人当场决定把房子租给我们这个刚刚入境不久的新家庭。我一度觉得他们是因为喜欢安安才愿意租的。在他家（我们隔壁）的餐桌上，他手写了一个协议，我们预交了一星期房租，这事就算定下来。那个时候安安像个猴子一样在他们家后院里乱窜，爬上了他们院子里那棵巨大枫树的树屋。我们当时担心预定的homestay还未住完就提前租到了房子这要怎么办，房租从哪天开始算起呢？John询问了我们homestay到期的时间，决定从我们真正搬进房子的时间开始算。然后，他提前八天把房子的钥匙给了我们。这段时间我们可以采购家电和家具，做搬家准备，这些时间不算房租。他也忙着给房子做外墙粉刷，补种草籽，在我们搬进来的前一天下午，把草坪割了一遍。

我曾经开玩笑地问John，万一我们退掉homestay的费用，偷偷提前住进来呢，岂不是省了钱。他笑着说“You won't, I trust you guys."我一直记得这句话，它符合我对这片土地的最初判断，这里是一个基于信任的社会。我的选择是正确的。

这个房子的租金比我预想的要便宜许多，每个月能节省人民币一千块。就因为它是1960s建筑的，很老。可是它坐落在一个非常好的社区，它对应的小学是这个城市最好的一所公立。安安可以免费入读。后来我才知道这所小学以阅读和数学见长，它的数学教学水平在新西兰全境是最高的。无比契合我的孩子。

没有脚感舒服的原木地板，洗碗机不如以前的西门子好用，水龙头也不可能是高仪（它的价格甚至只有高仪水龙头的十分之一吧），没有toto智能马桶，床垫也没有以前家里的舒服，窗帘是土土的，并不好看。客厅的地毯上残留着上一任房客的猫的留下来的浓烈的尿味……它有太多缺点了。可是我渐渐习惯了它，然后喜欢上了它。我想买下来。

也许这就是我做事情的方式，我不挑选什么，我接受缘分让我遇到的，然后我深深喜欢上自己所选择的。它们就是the one.

A Morning of Learning and Fate

On this morning of studying logic, I realized that while I may never fully commit to a particular religion, that doesn’t mean I reject or dismiss their existence. I feel that I can gain nourishment from understanding religions and their teachings.

After finishing my coffee and leaving the café with my book, I saw my landlord and neighbors, John and Lynne, sitting under a tree. We exchanged warm smiles and greetings before I walked back to my home—less than 100 meters away.

As I stood in the yard, thinking about how to cultivate certain succulents, they returned from the café. We greeted each other again, and I couldn't help but ask a question that had been on my mind for days: “Have you ever considered selling this house (the one I’m renting)?”
John replied, “No, we haven’t.”

They then started complimenting the row of flower beds facing the street, saying how beautiful and healthy the plants looked—the lavender, rosemary, Japanese bamboo, and the two newly planted roses, one pink and one red. They also asked if I had found a local job yet. I shared my honest thoughts—I could start working anytime, but I wasn’t in a rush. First, I needed to get my driver’s license and improve my fluency in English to better fit into the local job market. They smiled and reassured me, “But your English is already fluent enough! You’re improving all the time.”

John left first, and I called Lynne back to ask her a question that had been on my mind for the past hour. “Are you Christian?” I asked.
She said yes.
I told her, “I feel like I haven’t found my connection with Christianity yet because there’s one thing I can’t accept—I can’t see God as an omnipotent man. The only thing I can accept and truly believe is that God is love, because I can feel love everywhere, at any time.”

Lynne was surprised at first, then deeply agreed. “I feel exactly the same way!” she said. “ I also prefer to think of God as love.” Then, she left.

Less than ten seconds later, they came back. They told me they had another house near the park that they “might” consider selling. It was bigger, with four bedrooms, built in the same era as the one we live in—the 1960s.
I hesitated. “But I don’t qualify to buy a house yet—I don’t have my green card.”
John asked, “How much longer will that take?”
“Maybe a year or two,” I replied.
I told them, “If you do decide to sell, please let me know—I love this neighborhood.”

In a free market, constantly weighing, comparing, and filtering options to find the “absolute best” one is exhausting. Sometimes, it’s better to choose what fate brings to you and build a deeper connection with it. It’s simpler. And more reliable. I’ve decided to settle down in this community—I don’t need a bigger, newer house.

“The First House We Saw”

This was the first house we viewed after arriving in New Zealand.

Back in November and December of last year, I read many posts online about Chinese people struggling to rent homes in New Zealand. Most of them described it as “incredibly difficult”—some people ended up staying in motels for a month or more after arriving. The rental market was competitive, and even if you found a house you liked, it wasn’t guaranteed you could rent it. Many local landlords preferred not to rent to Chinese tenants because of concerns about cooking styles affecting kitchen cleanliness. I felt the pressure and worried about how we’d navigate these challenges.

On the third day after arriving, we bought a car and drove to this small city. I had already bookmarked about ten houses online and started scheduling viewings. I sent out emails and arranged six appointments in just over an hour. Then, I received a reply:

"I guess we could do it at 4 PM today."

The email came in at 3:30 PM. We immediately drove over.

On the way, a thought popped into my head: “What if we rent the very first house we see? That would be so inconvenient—I’d have to cancel all my other appointments.” Then, I dismissed the idea. “What are the odds? Luck like that doesn’t happen to me.”

When we arrived, I realized the email wasn’t from an agent—it was from the landlords themselves, a typical white couple in their fifties or sixties. They opened the door and let us in.

The house had two bedrooms and a study. The living room was small but functional. The fireplace had been replaced with a Rinnai gas heater. The carpet was old. The wooden floors in the kitchen and bathroom were worn and scratched. The bathroom didn’t even have a bathtub, and the toilet was an outdated model, definitely not electric. The kitchen lacked a range hood. The dishwasher—according to the landlord—had been installed just days ago and looked second-hand.

As I looked around, I felt like backing out. The house was “too old.” The facilities were “too outdated.” It “didn’t feel clean enough”—which was something I cared deeply about.

But my husband didn’t hesitate. He said immediately, “We’d like to rent it. Is that possible?”

I was shocked. “How could he be so impulsive? We still have so many newer, bigger houses to see! Shouldn’t we at least check them out before deciding?”

But he had already made up his mind.

So, I had to respect that.

Right then and there, the landlords decided to rent the house to us—this newly arrived family that had just landed in the country.

For a long time, I thought they only agreed because they liked Andy. At their dining table (which is now our neighbor’s house), John hand-wrote a rental agreement. We paid a week’s rent upfront, and that was it.

At that time, Andy was running around their backyard like a little monkey, climbing the giant maple tree that had a treehouse built into it.

We worried because we had already booked a homestay for the first ten days. How would we handle the overlap? When would our lease officially start?

John asked when our homestay ended, then made a decision: our lease would begin the day we actually moved in. He even gave us the keys eight days early, rent-free, so we could buy furniture and appliances and prepare for the move.

During that time, he repainted the exterior, reseeded the lawn, and on the afternoon before we moved in, he mowed the grass one last time.

I once jokingly asked John, "What if we secretly moved in early and skipped paying for the homestay?"

He laughed and said, "You won’t. I trust you guys."

I’ve always remembered that sentence. It affirmed my first impression of this land—New Zealand is a society built on trust.

And I had made the right choice.

"Choosing What Fate Brings"

The rent for this house was much lower than I had expected—saving us nearly ¥1,000 (RMB) each month. Simply because it was built in the 1960s.

But it was in a "great" neighborhood. It was zoned for the best public elementary school in the city, where Andy could attend for free. Later, I learned that the school was particularly strong in reading and math. In fact, its math program was one of the best in all of New Zealand—an "exact" fit for my child.

There are many things this house lacks—no warm beautiful wooden floors, a dishwasher that doesn’t compare to our old Siemens, faucets that cost a fraction of what Grohe ones do, no high-tech Toto toilet, an uncomfortable mattress, outdated curtains that don’t match my taste. The living room carpet still carries the scent of the previous tenant’s cat…

It has many flaws.

But over time, I got used to it.

Then, I fell in love with it.

Maybe this is just how I do things. I don’t go searching for "the perfect" choice. I accept what fate brings me—then I love it deeply.

Because "it" is "the one."